The Dark Night of the Soul

Bearing the Exile

You seek the friendship of those who, with their conversation and affection, with their company, help you to bear more easily the exile of this world-although sometimes those friends fail you. I don't see anything wrong with that.
But how is it that you do not seek everyday, more eagerly, the company, the conversation of that great friend who will never fail you?

St. Josemaria Escriva

This short quote is from one of my favorite books, "The Way" by St. Josemaria. It is a book with numbered sayings-a great help for time of prayer. I typically read them until one strikes me and let it "rest on me" for a little while. In this way it stays with me throughout the day.

This particular quote struck me as I was thinking about how truly valueable it is for people who love the Lord to make themselves available to others. Of course not merely because we "should" or merely because we "ought" but because the love of God inspires us to do so. Not merely for the sake of "converting" other people to a life in the Lord (though this would always be our desire for everyone to share in the penetrating love of God) but for ourselves to experience the greater intimacy that comes with walking with Jesus Christ. All of this being now said, I realize that I have a strong tendency to enter more easily into conversation with creatures...with fellow humans than I do with God. I often find myself thinking of the "optimum time" to pray as opposed to simply praying. The above quote helps me to remember that God is available at all times and is always willing and able (even joyfully) to pour out endless graces upon us. People fail us...God never fails.
Thanks be to God!

The Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception Denver

The Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception serves as the Mother Church of the Catholic faithful in Northern Colorado.

Through its beauty and service to the people of God and its fidelity to the Gospel and shepherds of the Church, it illuminates the local community and greater Denver area with Christian faith, hope, and love.



Amy and I went through our "Rite of Election" last night at this Cathedral in Denver. Such a beautiful place. It was great to meet Archbishop Charles Chaput OFM cap. A truly wonderful night.

The Death of a Friend

The Death of a Friend

You are once again sitting and talking and laughing about something you can no longer remember. Who was sitting in which chair? You think back…it’s difficult. Wanting to go deeper into memory here, to feel it’s movement and heaviness. To hear the vibration of voice and tone of color but you turned your head too soon. The reflection only lasts for light seconds on the surface of things. Your hands and heart can’t hold them there. Quickly dancing off. You went to the refrigerator, so mundane, grabbed two beers and returned to find the darkest of rooms and the emptiest of chairs. You turn and leave.

It has been said that death is nothing to fear. It has been said that death is, “just a natural part of life.” Try convincing the dead of these, “truths.” It is much easier for a man to describe things of history with a certain careless air. Having nothing to do with the actual time or season…being neither warm or cold on our skin but held so safely behind museum cases. Delighted in from the, easy-chair-distance of life. Reflecting precious little on where our souls are headed from here, and with that, how tremendously soon we leave our bodies behind.

Many reason that since we have little say in the matter, or the manner of our own deaths that it makes little sense to give it further thought. So says the one that agrees with the, “death is a natural part of life,” mentality. Many have already stopped reading and have gone on about their lives, uncertain. Preferring to continue dash headlong into the darkness…saving for a temporal retirement and possibly wasting an eternity.

You, who are wise, return to the darkest of rooms and the emptiest of chairs. Turning on the small light in the corner of the room. Take your seat in the chair where your friend was sitting the last time. The last time, yes, realize this could be your last time. It is hard at first to get past the chill you feel in your flesh in the sickening stillness. You marvel how time seems neither long or short. It seems like yesterday, yet so long ago. Time disappears as you consider that a day has just gone by. Do you blame yourself for missing it? You should avoid being too hard on yourself. You’ve made it this far, though imperfectly, it is a worthwhile thought and you should be congratulated for reflecting more deeply than the majority of souls. A strange thought now occurs to you. You wish that you could have warned your friend to be more thoughtful, and careful. A desire so strong to raise a warning comes far too late. Yet you remain in this room pressing against your desire to leave. After all, you left so soon after it happened~ you know now is as good a time as any to remain.

There is nothing you can do for your friend now, except if you are so inclined, to pray for their soul. Advice coming from you is no longer of any value. If he could, it should be your friend, you realize, who should be warning you. But the impassable veil has been pulled between you and will only be re-opened at the hour of YOUR death. It is hard to get past the fact that even memories are difficult to recall in their entirety…just bits and pieces…fragments and flashes. O dear friend! Irreplaceable friend. I can’t get close to you.

From where you sit you rise, turn out the light and go the refrigerator. The bottles from the beer you wanted to share are gone…just orange-juice left. In fact even the picture on the wall of the two of you is fading.

Will you reflect more on your life? Will you honor your friend by making more of your life? Or will you, like the mindless hoards, fail to consider your own soul? Will you neglect your own eternity? Will you simply replace this forgotten treasure with more wasted hours and days? Today might be your last.

Another thought, since it is impossible to know the hour and time we will die it is also reasonable to assume that we are not the ones who can pick and choose the way we should live. If you have forgotten God, Whom you know in your soul is waiting for your whole-hearted return. His desire to embrace you fills and consumes the universe. You are of eternal value~ Become a true daughter or son of God. This life is but a breath. Care enough for yourself to seek the Truth you’ve been neglecting. Let your friend be a constant reminder to you~ You are called to be a child of heaven...a child of God. Anything less than His fullness is meaningless. You have my sincere prayers. Thanks for reading.

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
Socrates, in Plato, Dialogues, Apology
Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC - 399 BC)

Somebody to Love

“Don’t you want somebody to love…don’t you need somebody to love…wouldn’t you love somebody to love…you’d better find somebody to love….” Jefferson Airplane

Is it true that we need somebody to love? I am thinking about the Jefferson Airplane song from the Sixties where Grace Slick repeatedly begs the question amid guitar riffs. Want somebody?

Questions arise in my mind about the meaning of “love” Jefferson Airplane might have been referring to as, we must know, there is more than one meaning of the word love. Given the general motivation and “mood” and fruit grown on the “Sixties Hippie-tree” I could assume that Grace Slick was not referring to the kind of love which can also be translated, “Charity.” Silly me? Of course even the lowest form of the word love has a root in higher forms. However, the two should not be so easily used interchangeably as this would confuse the true meaning of the higher and raise the significance of the lower above it’s proper place. In other words, love is love but isn’t necessarily true love but is often lust masquerading AS love.

Why is it important to make this distinction? After all, many would suggest, that to “over-think” the meaning and actions of love would strip love of some degree of power, intrigue, mystery etc. I would suggest, however, that one cannot love what it doesn’t know, at least to some degree, and to purposely maintain ignorance about the “somebody to love” demonstrates a decision against True-Love. It is interesting that there is even a term, “True-Love” in existence as it likewise assumes there is something in existence that is conversely False-love…yet all of the fawning and dreamy songs in existence seem to, almost to a song, fall far short of anything True…as Love, if it is in fact REAL cannot be false. It is interesting how language often evolves toward falsehood and away from truth…but that it another topic.

In reality love is ultimate reality as God (Who stands as ultimate reality) has revealed Himself as love. What does this mean though? God is love. Have you thought about that? It is often quoted, placed on many items in Christian bookstores from Precious Moments figurines to inspirational plaques, paper-weights and even something referred to as “executive stationary.” Hilarious! I think this is one of those things that too easily gets tossed around but as a result of over-familiarity with the statement comes our equal lack of understanding of the verse. But for a moment let’s go back to Jefferson Airplane.

In my mind Jefferson Airplane (also later known as Jefferson Starship…later than that just known as Starship...maybe by now they are known as Space-Shuttle…not sure) represents our general lack of understanding of love which truly stands as the most important reality in the Universe...a reality that no space-vehicle can reach. God Himself has revealed Himself as Love and this Love is the highest form of Love. God has been revealed as One God in Three Persons. God is One, yet distinct. One Divine Nature (God Nature) but Three distinct Persons…revealed to us as God, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I have to give credit where credit is due, however, even if some credit is extended to Jefferson Airplane. They got one aspect of Love right in their question, “Don’t you NEED somebody to love?” Have you ever thought about why we cannot Love without having a distinct “other” to Love? Why can’t we simply love ourselves and call it good? After all God Loves us individually as if we were the sole individual in existence (according to Saint Augustine) right? However, we were created by God, by Love, out of ultimate Love so that we would be able to Love…that we would BE Love…give it, receive it and live in it. It is true that we NEED somebody to love because we were created in God’s image and likeness. God who is love created us to mirror Him. We mirror Him by loving as He loves. We reach our highest purpose…our goal…our “Telos” when we give and receive Love as He does among the Three Divine Persons. So what does this love look like in space and time?

Admittedly the sort of Love that God shares among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is completely above and beyond us. To use words to describe these realities is almost insulting and anyone who attempts to speak of the such things does so only as a fool. We only avoid being complete fools by the Grace of God and His Loving disposition toward us, His Children, that He created. The grandeur of God is totally other yet at the same time it is something He, out of love, desires that we participate in as fully as possible. I prefer the word, “Charity” because it is clearer in our experience (though also an imperfect descriptor) to the higher form of Love those who love God aspire toward. When we “give to Charity” we understand that we only gain by the giving. Love is total self-giving for the sake of another…which is for the sake of all others. Love is not necessarily a feeling at all but it can surely produce feelings in us…either by abundance or our experience of lack. Love is not an emotion either. Love, like I said above, is God Himself. We know love by this…that God created us to be like Himself in all things…Loves us despite our inability to Love as He loves…and even came PERSON-ally…revealing Himself in Jesus Christ that we might be restored to full-communion with the Blessed Trinity…clearly something we were not able to accomplish on our own. So, do we NEED somebody to love? Of course we do…yet not with the same motivations in operation in the Sixties “love” culture…but for the sake of others…out of our Love for God. Unselfishly. Always seeking the best for others. Always pointing others toward ultimate Truth (God Himself) and doing so in our actions, words…what we do and what we choose not to do.

I want somebody to love…I need somebody to love...so I reach for this goal but, God permitting, will live Love His way, with His constant help...by His Grace. His Grace is indeed sufficient for us…He’s given us all we need to begin to Love. The reality I have EVERYONE to Love. Not for myself, but for the sake of ALL others. So with this I again begin and pray you are encouraged to do likewise.

As Saint Paul proclaimed in his letter to the Corinthian Church:

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect;
but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.
So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

In order to Love we need other people to whom we give it and with whom to live it.

Hannah Hears the Snow

When our daughter Hannah got up this morning we sat together in our blue chair, which is the place we often sit together, and we prayed. After a little while (which the “while” must be very “little” while sitting with a four-year-old) we got up and opened our blinds. Looking out we saw a fresh white blanket of snow.

Hannah looked out at the snow and said, “The snow talks to me.” I asked her what she meant and she answered, “It doesn’t talk with words.” This reminded me of something I read by Thomas Merton where he explained that everything in all of creation speaks of God and His goodness and love. Where a tree isn’t merely a tree but something in creation that speaks of God without words. God, himself, has made the tree with many arms that reach up to heaven~ extending leaves as hands. For us, this morning, the snow reminded us of God’s purity, of heaven, of the manna falling for the Israelites in the desert and how God will soon make all things new.

There are so many things wrong in our world but, for those who look and listen carefully, it still speaks of the beautiful intentions of God toward us. This is the way we are meant to see.

Advice I'm Trying To Take

1. Humility is where to begin as it both acknowledges our proper place before God and accepts His abundant Grace.
2. Without humility we fool only ourselves.
3. In humility we are raised up~ in pride we must be put down.
4. Grace is undeserved favor, yes, but this favor must be accepted.
5. Words of anger both open eyes and close hearts.
6. Love asks, “How can I serve?” Not, “Where are my servants?”
7. If you want peace, surrender to God and you will have no enemies.
8. Every person is a child of God who fails to act like one.
9. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and purify us of all unrighteousness.” What then if we keep sin hidden?
10. “Prayer succeeds when all else fails,” might be a good statement. I suggest, “With prayer everything good succeeds,” is a whole lot better.
11. God is Love. God is Truth. He cannot be divided.
12. When Jesus said, “Do not judge lest you be judged,” He was not advocating an acceptance of sin. He was rather adding to the list of sins to avoid.
13. Jesus began His ministry with the words, “Repent!” not with, “How may I help you?”
14. It is better to do something good than to avoid doing good things. Many render themselves useless because they believe they must be pure before they begin.
15. Service to others, especially to the ungrateful, is a walk through purifying fire.
16. Serve only the God who made you! Not the one of your making.
17. You know the Truth to the degree you live the Truth.
18. Avoid those who speak negatively about others but seek those who speak negatively about you.
19. You are not a servant if another is your slave.
20. Three seconds with God is far better than three hours talking about Him.
21. Which is worse, the source of entertainment, or our persistent desire to be entertained? Often, both are worse.
22. It is far better to attempt to love and fail miserably than to avoid love by avoiding failure.
23. If you desire to become a truly generous giver you must first be a grateful recipient.
24. Learn the differences between knowledge, intelligence and wisdom.
25. Seek to combine knowledge, intelligence and wisdom.
26. It has been said, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” This is true, however I would add, “If you truly love you only stand to gain.”
27. “God helps those who help themselves?” Rubbish. How about, “God helps everyone that asks for help.”
28. “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Now the important thing is what you plan on doing with that penny.
29. “A stitch in time saves nine.” Sure, but consider what you’re stitching as it might be a waste of time in the first place.
30. Children simultaneously reveal God’s mercy and give us a foretaste of His righteous judgment.
31. It is good to consider the last things, our ultimate end, first, and adjust accordingly.
32. It is nearly impossible to waste time in prayer and far too easy to waste the time when we could be praying.
33. Faith? Works? What saves you? Remember it is only God Himself that can save you.
34. Trying to earn God’s love is more foolish than trying to heat the sun. But trying to earn His praise is a worthy pursuit. May He say to you, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
35. People choose to possess certain items to make a “statement” about, “who they are.” It seems most possessions have very little good to say.
36. Those who applaud the sins of others are twice as guilty.